There's Freedom in Loving the Skin I'm In!!

Oh how busy life gets! I can't believe that I have neglected my blog for one whole week. I think this is a new record for me. Actually, I kind of like it that I have found other ways to spend my time, and being in front of the computer doesn't happen to be one of them. It isn't that I don't have anything to say or lots of fun pictures to post, but I am finding a lot of enjoyment in doing the many other things I have been doing.

I have been keeping busy attending year end events; school is out today and I am sure my life will get even busier as I try and keep four active kids occupied this summer. I have also been getting ready for our vacation to Hawaii. This trip has been planned for almost 2 1/2 years and is coming up faster than I can think! The official count is 14 days. Two weeks to try and lose a few more pounds before I put on that swimsuit that really I should never be seen in.

So... I have been trying hard to lose some weight for this "once in a lifetime" trip. Back when I was young (20) and much better looking, we decided to forgo that honeymoon trip that we didn't have money for and went to the Oregon Coast. I think our honeymoon lasted just a few days there before we were ready to head home and set up house. We always said that we would do that fabulous "honeymoon" trip on our 10th Anniversary. That was a great plan, but our surprise number four child was born. So, the next logical choice would be the big 15. So, here we are getting ready to celebrate 15 wonderful, adventuresome, and even challenging years of marriage, and finally heading to a warm, tropical place.

I find it ironic that people say that a trip like this is more enjoyable after several years of marriage than on the honeymoon. I mean really, there is so much more to think about when you have to get four kids ready for grandma's, 2 animals situated, and loose ends tied up at work. Then once you get there, all those things that you left behind end up occupying your mind. Then, there is the whole issue of getting into a bathing suit. I am telling you, it wouldn't have been an issue 15 years ago, but now...I really would rather wear an ugly orange jumsuit than show off my rather larg, thunder thighs.

So, this whole bathing suit thing-



I have been 30-40 pounds heavier than I would like since my third baby was born. Yes, I choose to still blame all of this so called baby fat on this child!! I have tried more diets than I can possible count and I still remain at this weight. I have maintained this for nine years. Do you think my body feels right at home at this weight? I don't really know. All I know is that I have been working hard since January and am not down to where I envisioned myself being for Hawaii. In fact, I am still far from it. This comic strip depicts just how I feel about this whole weight loss stuff. I have decided to not step on that awful scale. It has a tendancy to rule my life. When it's down, I'm down. When it's up, I'm up!! Do any of you know what I mean?


I must say though, that I feel much healthier and have developed a wonderful exercise routine that has eased much of my pain and given me lots more energy. I am eating a lot more fruits and veggies and over all feel a lot better than I have in many years. Honestly, I have stopped striving for that perfect beach body, because I really don't think that I will ever have it, but rather, I am striving for that healthier lifestyle. I keep telling myself that it is OK to get into that swimsuit in Hawaii, that my husband wants a healthy minded wife who is fully enjoying her time there and not worrying about what others are thinking. Why should I care anyway? I don't know anyone there except my hubby who happens to think I look great just the way I am! I pray daily that God will give me a healthy mindset and give me freedom in this way.

Freedom! I don't fully know yet what that looks like in this area yet, but I know God wants me to experience it. I have spend my life striving to look a certain way. It's hard to be accepting of myself when I know that I use to look so different. I have wonderful friends who have encouraged me to NOT let this area of my life affect my time in Hawaii. This is great advise, and I am taking it because this may be my one and only chance to go somewhere tropical and warm, and by golly, I am going to enjoy every minute soaking up the sun, snorkeling, drinking some Mai Thai's and romancing my wonderful man of 15 years!