I am waiting to hear how my father's surgery and my friend's, mom's surgery went today. It has been a very emotional day for me as I have had my mind and prayers on these people. I can rest in the fact that God is indeed BIGGER than all of this and has His healing hand on them.
I am suppose to be working on my two talks for the Women's Conference this weekend, but am having trouble concentrating. I have to trust that God will bring all of this together in His timing. These subjects are very dear to me. I will be speaking on the very thing these people are going through; life's disappointments.
I grew so much in my relationship with God and those close to me while I was going through my own hardships. I look back and now can thank God for guideing me through them. I know that He never left me to walk it alone and infact carried me. I have to say that I am glad I went through it. Of course, at the time I don't think I could say that, but I experienced Joy in the mist of the pain. This joy is not the kind of feeling of happiness, but a feeling that I am in the care of the Almighty. Knowing that His plans for my life are greater than mine. Now, I only wish for His perfect plan. I love Him more and deeper than I did before. I love my husband and children differently and I love life to the fullest because I have been put here for a period of time to live life for my King. This is not my home, but you better believe I will live every second enjoying the people, places, and time I have here.
I think I am better prepared to go through other trials when they come my way. I feel like I handled my pain these last months better than I handled job losses in the past, or even going through cancer. I am not saying that I was always chipper about it, just ask my husband and children. They would say that there were days that I wasn't very easy to live with. On those days it was harder to find joy in my pain. But, I found that I accepted my plight more. Yes, I searched and sought out doctors who could help me but I was finding strength and peace with God.
My daughter said it best the other day when she said that she was glad that she was experiencing trials with friends because it made her run to God more and rely on Him completely to be her constant. I say Amen to this! This is how I feel but I sure didn't feel this way when I was her age. I wonder if going through many job losses and sicknesses has helped my children learn what joy looks like in the mist of trials at an earlier age. If so, then I thank the Lord even more for allowing us as a family to go through these things. It truly has bonded us together. We are so much closer and content because of it.
Writing this out has been wonderful for me thinking on my talk this weekend. I don't know if anyone ever reads my ramblings but I do know that it is very theraputic for me. Like my hubby say, this blog stuff helps me spiritually, and emotionally. It is definitely an outlet.
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Newsboys - In The Hands Of God
From the album In The Hands Of God
We have raised our hopes and our cities high
We have followed fragile dreams
But only One could take the measure of our goals
And we've stumbled over the trials of life
And we've wrestled the unseen
But only One can calm the storm inside our souls
In the hands of God we will fall
Rest for the restless, and the weary
Hope for the sinner
In the hands of God we stand tall
Hands that are mighty to deliver
Giving us freedom
When our strength gave way to the weight of guilt
'Til we strained for every breath
Only One could lift our shame and make us well
And when all is finished and we face
The fearsome power of death
Only One has overcome the gates of hell
You're amazing
You're amazing, You are
And we praise You, Lord
For what Your hands have done
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