Victor

Tonight I was in Bend picking up Mandi from volleyball practice and running errands with all the kids. We ran through the McDonald's drive through because that was the easiest dinner I could think of at 7:00 at night. Life would have been as normal if I would have continued down the road, but my oldest son needed to go to the bathroom bad. I pulled into McDonald's parking lot and waited for him.

There was a homeless man waiting by the door with three cute dogs. I normally feel uncomfortable and try not to make eye contact. Tonight I couldn't take my eyes off him. I also don't make a habit of handing out money those who are begging. I would rather buy a burger and give it to them. But tonight I felt the need to give.

My son walked out of the restaurant and headed for the car. All I had was 1 dollar and some change to my name but felt compelled to give it. I gave Jeff the money and told him to give it to the man and to tell him "God Bless". As he walked over to him I regretted telling Jeff to say God Bless. How tright. What a cop out for telling him what I really wanted to say. Jeff petted the dogs for a second and started heading to the car. The man says "thank you mom", but precedes to ask me what do I mean when I say "God Bless". Here was the opportunity to share the love of God.

So I told him that God loves him. He introduced his name as Victor and told me that he knew that Jesus died on the cross for him and loved him but that he still did bad things like drink and smoke. I reassured him that if he knew and loved God and had believed that Jesus died on the cross for him and confessed his sins that he was a child of God. I told him nothing could separate him from the love of God. He asked me to pull over so he could tell me a poem he wrote. I did, and listended for 3 minute to the most awesome poem that I had ever heard in my life. After hearing this poem I felt pretty confident that this man knew Jesus and loved him with all his heart.

That poem was amazing! I told him so, and tried to encourage him the best way that I knew how. Silently I prayed that God would give me the right words to speak. Victor asked if I lived in Bend. "No" I replied. So he walked over to his pack and pulled out his notebook. He tore out a few pages and walked back over to the car. "Here is the poem, and a few others that I have written." Then he asked me if I had another dollar. I told him I didn't but that I would pray for him. He communicated how cold the winter was last year and that he was hoping to get on his feet before this winter came. Before I drove off ,Victor showed me the last page of the poem and pointed out his name- Victor, a blood washed sinner child of God, was signed at the bottom.

As you can imagine I got a million questions from children on the way home. "Mommy why can't he get a job? How can he feed himself and 3 dogs? Do you think he is going to heaven, and I can't believe you gave him money. You never do that!" I told them that it was the Holy Spirit that prompted me to give him money and to talk to him and talked to the kids a bit about some reasons why he might be homeless. Of course don't know Victor's story but I do know that today I was humbled and blessed through the encounter that I had with this man.

All the kids agreed that they should try and publish his poem and then give him the money. I was anxious to get home and read his poem but the pages he gave me did not have the poem I heard. It was another poem that revealed a man that might be still searching, or at least wondering why God doesn't hear him. This breaks my heart and I am determined to pray for him. There are a lot of things I wished I would have said. I wish that I had a Bible to hand to him or more words of hope. But this I know- God loves this man and desires to see him whole. If he doesn't know Jesus personally then I pray that God will bring him to Himself and put other people in his life that will show him God's love.

I am typing out his poem. It is interesting, it is confusing,but it is Victor's thoughts. Thoughts of a man who is searching for love, forgiveness and acceptance.

This is what he wrote:

Psalm 18:41
(They cried, but there was none to save them, even unto the Lord, but He answered them not.)

I opened my eyes and was sitting in jail
The paper in my pocket said I had no bail.
Emotions of fear traveled up my spine,
Oh dear God what happened this time?

A guard appears in front of my cell

With a freighting look He says welcome to hell.

I start to speak but my words don't form.
My soul is burning like a gail storm.
I try and think about the night before.
The beach, the party the dates we scored.

"Selah"

Then the Christians came preaching the Lord.
Singing, Dancing, and praising His name.
Repent from your sins or live eternity in shame.
Laughter erupts form all around.
The preacher so serious ,we fall to the ground.

The Christians stand firm with their hands held high.
The preacher keeps preaching because of you Jesus died.
One of the freaks falls down on his knees
If I didn't no better he was begging please.

As we walked away we say you're all nuts
At that very moment I felt fire in my gut.
Packed in our cars headed down town
Everyone talking but I hear no sounds.

Inside my head I feel so strange,
Someone speaking , calling my name.
Brother, sister why persecute me?
Because of you I died on a tree.

My head starts to clear
My friends are all stoned.
I think to myself I gotta go home.

As time passes by we're out of control
The stereo is blasting heavy rock-n-roll
A flash of light appears in the sky
My body is floating I must have died.

Now I feel the fire growing inside of me.
I am so thirsty but water I do not see.
I remember the Christians and call to their Lord.
He says He does not no me and shuts the only door.

All around is darkness my body heats too high.
Is this a bad dream I couldn't possibly be alive.
Closing my eyes I open them again,
Still in this cell alone with no friends.

Eternity passes by and still I am here.
I condemned my soul over drugs and beer
I condemned my soul through prideful fears.

Please pray for Victor